Friday, 26 October 2018
Grief Never Ends
I haven't posted for a little while as I have had a lot going on personally. It has been over eight years now since my son passed away at only 23 weeks gestation. There have been so many tears and difficult moments where I thought my heart would never heal and would stay broken forever. As the years have passed I have grown stronger and stronger and the days have gradually got easier and more joyful to navigate.
It is easy to believe that you have healed completely at this point until something comes up again to remind you and alas trigger you.
I was feeling very tired and just assumed it was because it is nearing the end of the year. I went to a yoga and meditation retreat with my husband so we could have some time out to replenish our energy. I received a healing treatment on the day from a kinesiologist. She noticed almost immediately that there was grief in my uterus; causing my tiredness and other digestive problems.
The therapist worked on healing this trauma. I am very open to alternative therapies and am trained in them myself so I have already received much healing from myself and others over the last eight years. The therapist commented on how much work I had already done on myself and told me she was working at a high level.
After the treatment I felt much lighter and more open. As my husband and I returned home that afternoon we received some upsetting news about the poor health of a loved one. News so serious we were not sure how much longer we may have them in our life.
I believe because I was so raw and open after my healing the news struck me very hard. For the next few days I went back into a deep state of grief and the way I handled things reminded me of how I had coped when I lost my son. The grief reactions of those around me stirred painful reminders in me. I was taken back to a place of mourning my son again.
Grief is so sneaky. Like a dog coming up to bite your heels again when you least expect it. In these moments it is sometimes hard for me not to get frustrated with myself at how long it takes to completely heal from such a great loss. Maybe we never do.
I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on your grief journey if you feel guided to share.
Until next time,
Blessings and light,
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