Wednesday, 19 September 2018

Triggers and Growth

Dear Readers,

Yesterday I attended a meeting for work which discussed perinatal and anti-natal care, trauma and a mother's mental health concerns during this time. It was a very interesting workshop. I am aware of how important it is to recognise post natal depression and anxiety.

Throughout the talk I felt fine. However, when I got home and had the privacy to truly be me I realised my energy was very weird. I felt snappy, exhausted, overwhelmed and chaotic in my head. I must have been triggered somehow. I used all my best self-care strategies. I went for a long walk along the water with my husband and then sought some time alone to have a relaxing bath and give myself a Reiki treatment. I went to bed feeling much lighter.

The following day started out as a normal day. I was a little tired after yesterday but as the new day began I bounced back trying to find the joy in the beautiful spring day. The day began with a public speaking role for me. Every time I do these public speaking gigs lately I feel less nervous. I used to be so afraid of public speaking and lacking in confidence but now I mostly take them in my stride. 

As I finished this job I felt proud of myself for handling another public speaking opportunity with grace and confidence. The day was sailing along quite nicely. 

As the day progressed I was met by a friend. I took one look at her tear-stained face and could see the raw grief on her face. She had just lost a beloved family member. She hugged me for the longest time. I still did not sense that I was not ok. I continued to spend time with her and others as she emotionally shared her story of loss. The others cried with her and I still remained calm and strong in my support for her. There was no sign of me crumbling at all.

Later in the day I spoke to another lady privately and the topic of my book came up. As I spoke about my book and my loss I burst into tears. I realised the occurrences of the last two days and the sight of my friends grief had triggered my own. I reflected on the lessons from the last two days and understood all the triggers had occurred to help me grow. 

The public speaking is happening to show me I will be ready and confident to promote my book; to talk about it with others and do my book tours. 

Grief - like the nipping teeth of a dog that sneaks up on you to bite your heals again; just when you thought you had lost him. Just to remind you never to be complacent. More than 8 years later and still lurking around in the shadows.

The occurrences of these days have leapt me into a new level of action to share my book with the world. 'Holding the Baby Dream' is my gift to share with you all. It contains the message that help us with our grief and our triggers so we can grow into the confident, fearless woman we were always meant to be. The triggers remind us to value the tough fights we have experienced and the pain we have endured to confirm for us that we are ready for any future battles that we are presented with. 

Until next time with love and kindness,

Narelle Hudson.

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