Thursday, 29 March 2018

2018 is an intense year!

2018 is turning out to be a very intense year. Full of high energies and big changes. It is the eighth year since I lost my beautiful son, River. Eight is a number that represents coming full-circle - meaning we are coming to the end of some cycles and the beginning of new ones.

This could not be more true in all this year has already demonstrated to me and the experiences I sense are coming to me in the near future.

This year has showcased the end of a huge phase in my life. One which encompassed eight years; the writing of my story about the loss of my son. With this ending comes the beginning of the next phase of releasing my book and sharing it with others.

Only a few have already chosen to purchase my book and read it. Although I know it is not about the quantity, as the ones who have already read it have benefited so much from it.  As always in life the book has landed in certain people's hands at the perfect time for them and is helping them through their individual journey. This is all I could have hoped for.

Ultimately all I want from releasing my book is to give support to those who feel alone in their pain and to offer understanding to those who feel misunderstood. Therefore whether 5,000 people or only 5 have read my book; my dream has already come true.

Who can place a value on how much comfort my words have brought to the ladies who have already read it? One reader recently thanked me for writing my book; describing it as: 'a light in her current dark times'. Explaining that 'I understood what she was going through, when many other well-intentioned people in her life did not'.

We all rate success differently I know. But hearing this from one of my readers makes me feel very blessed that I have light to share with her in her darkest moments.

Death is something none of us are fortunate enough to escape experiencing. It is my gift if I can walk beside anyone in this place and help their journey to be even a tiny bit less difficult. 

Blessings to all,

Narelle Hudson

Friday, 16 March 2018

Society expects women to have children

I know, as women we are all expected to have children. This is what makes things even more difficult for us emotionally when we either cannot or choose not to have children.

An excerpt from my book: Holding the Baby Dream...

When I was about twelve years old, I remember Mother and I were at a market together. We looked at the stalls together on the weekends when Father was not working and could take us in the car. It was on one of those days when Mother came across a stall of hand-crocheted baby clothes. The clothes were all delicately crafted in shades on lemon, white, light blue and pale pink. The stall holder was an older woman. Mother pulled me aside to inquire, ‘Wouldn’t these be beautiful for your babies, Nell.’

            ‘I am only twelve and am not even considering having children for a long time,’ I argued.

            ‘Old ladies like this, with these masterful skills, will not be around when you are ready to have babies Nell,’ my mother persuaded. 'Why don’t we get her to make some in other lovely colours, not in these pastel colours?’

            As Mother described the beautiful colours she wanted, I found myself getting more and more interested. I too liked to be different to everyone else, and it was hard not to get caught up in my mother’s child-like enthusiasm. I could see how adamant my mother was and her enthusiasm was too strong to argue with. I gave in. Mother immediately contracted with the stall holder to have baby clothes crocheted for me in certain colours.

            Mother's taste was different compared to everyone else, and she had instilled this in me too, to think outside the box. We did not want to be like everyone else and have pastel-coloured clothes. Mother had discussed with me about having navy blue, bottle green and burgundy. The lady was as shocked by this colour scheme as I was at first and protested about making baby clothes in these colours. I guess she was too overwhelmed by my mother’s energy and drive to deny her what she wanted.

            When the baby clothes were finished, and we went to collect them, the lady who made them was quite impressed with her work. She had surprised herself with how beautiful they looked, and Mother tried to convince her she should continue to crotchet the outfits in these striking colours for other women. With all this preparation was it any wonder I believed having children was my destiny?

When you were growing up what experiences did you have that made you feel like having a baby was your moral obligation? I know we all had them. Please share in the comments if you feel guided to.


Narelle Hudson

Saturday, 3 March 2018

How We Heal And Keep Our Child's Memory Alive

When you lose a child it is an incredible loss that brings with it great pain. Those of us who are creative try to heal from our pain and keep the memory of our child alive through artistic measures.

I found writing my book: Holding the Baby Dream, incredibly cathartic and a beautiful way to share my memories of River's short time here on earth before he grew his wings.

I know in previous posts I have shared songs but today I discovered the most beautiful song, 'Almost'; which is the way another mother, who lost her child, shared her story. This song bought me to tears almost 8 years after losing my son. It is so honest and heartfelt. Definitely worth a listen.

Many of the mum's I have talked to who have lost a child have a tattoo as a reminder of their child who is no longer with them. I love my tattoo of River and feel it keeps him closer to me.

Photos of our beloved children are also an amazing way to honour their memories and keep them close to us. I have a picture of my son by my bed and other photos in a special box in my cupboard. 

How do/did you heal from your grief and keep your child's memory alive? Please share by leaving a comment if you feel guided to.

Blessings and light,

Narelle Hudson.

Mothers Day as a childless woman.

Hi Readers, May has already been a very emotional month for me so far, for quite a few reasons. Sunday May 1st saw us honour those who have ...