It has been a little while since I wrote but my journey has taken some new turns since my last post. More about that to come if you read on....
Exciting times are ahead. My book: Holding the Baby Dream is due to be released either just before Christmas or just afterwards. I would have liked it to be a Christmas gift you could share but perhaps it still will be. I will let you know the moment it is uploaded to Amazon.com. Graphic designers are currently working on the perfect cover as you read this. Thank you for your patience in me and your faith. I can't wait to finally share the finished product with you!
I feel like I found another huge piece of myself this weekend. Wow, it has taken so long but I feel like I am closer to being my authentic self then I have ever been before; despite the hardships of the last 10 years or more likely because of them.
This reconnecting with my true nature only reached this great pinnacle by me coming full-circle. It turns out I had to return to Egypt, the place where my love for travel ultimately began. Egypt was the first country I ever visited. Although, when I arrived my tour of Egypt, I had been planning for years, had already been cancelled by my parents who were holding onto fear. They, like most Australians had watched the news and been devastated by the media portrayal of the tourist bus bombings in 1997. They had acted with fear, concern and love and forbidden me to keep my booking in Egypt.
I had tried to stand my ground and fight for my freedom to choose my own life-path. However, I was only 18 years old and my mother was financing the trip. This fact did not give me much ground to bargain with her. It was decided, without my consent, I would only keep my four hour stop-over in Cairo but would cancel my tour and instead spend two weeks in Malaysia after my month in Europe.
Twenty years later, as a 38 year-old woman, I faced all our fears and did it anyway. I booked another trip to Egypt and despite my parents, friends, colleagues and even strangers concerns; I took this calculated risk again.
I felt empowered, knowing I had no one to answer to this time. My husband supported me whole-heartedly. The travel agent assured me I would be as safe as I could be on the tour I had planned. Smart-traveller said 'reconsider your need to travel' but I felt like it was the right decision for me.
I planned to go alone and this trip felt like a 'right of passage' for me. It was a do-over 20 years later to show everyone and myself I was not afraid. Hell, I had already experienced personal tragedy that compared to a terrorist attack, in my own life, and survived.
I was adamant that I did not want fear - myself or others - to stop me from living my dreams and being my authentic self. I had never let others doubt get to me before and crush my spirit. Whilst in Egypt I truly realised how strong and independent a woman I am.
The day after I left Egypt there was another terrorist attack. A massive one where over 300 were killed, I believe. Family and friends who did not know my itinerary were panicked. Messages came from over the internet for me to check in and let them know I was still alive and safe. That ugly fear rose its head again.
On my return people hugged me for such a long time; gushing about how grateful they were that I was safe, like they may never have seen me again. Mostly I just felt sad for Egypt - a country that was already struggling to attract tourists. I knew I was protected and I had not been afraid in any of the moments I explored Egypt.
After I had been home for a week or so my husband went to Thailand for his own getaway for one. I hope his trip is as Cathartic as mine was for me. I feel it will be, as it is his first ever solo overseas holiday. I am so happy he can do this for himself. He completely deserves it, after everything he has been through with me in the last 10 years.
I have returned with my old confidence again, or perhaps a greater confidence in my self than I have ever had before. I have come full-circle. I have made it confidently through every challenge I have been given in the last 15 years.
Here I am now with ten days to myself. With Bret away I have much 'me' time to reflect on who I have become and what I have gained from my time in Egypt and my many life experiences. I must say I am pretty impressed right now with the way I have come through it all and now feel like I shine more brightly because of everything I have seen, felt and done. I am proud of the strength and resilience I have found, within myself, and feel like my life could not get better than this right now.
This weekend I have reconnected with myself and found the courage to do the final check on my book. My 8 year project is nearly ready to be read by you. I am ready to bare my soul and to have you read my deepest thoughts. I am ready to share my gift with the world, in the form of my fourth book.
Not long now....I will keep you posted.