Thursday, 20 October 2016


I recently got a tattoo.  It consists of my sons tiny footprints, his name and the date of his birth. It is on my shoulder to symbolise the heavy weight I have carried on my shoulders. Being on my shoulder blade I can hide it when I choose and reveal it at other times.
It is strange really. When I told people I was getting a second tattoo they were excited, thinking I was so brave and cool. When they asked what design I was getting and I told them they got a little quieter.
When they asked to see it after it was done I am not sure what they expected. But I am sure it was not what they saw.
They responded with: 'cute little footprints' and then looked confused as they read the name River. I would say that was my son and they were his footprints. Then they would go quiet and walk away or change the subject. Few people asked about my son or my experience.
It is weird how uncomfortable death and pain make other people when they did not even know the person who died.
My family could not understand how the tattoo would not make me sad every time I saw it. For me it makes me smile. I love the memory of you permanently printed on my shoulder. It is just funny others can't always handle seeing it and being reminded.

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