Saturday, 17 September 2016
Sometimes even those you least expect are walking a similar path. I went to see a new GP today. She collected my medical history and we spoke about my journey through IVF and about my son, River.
We also spoke about travel, as I got a list of the injections I needed for my next overseas holiday to China. She spoke of how it was hard for her to travel as she had a two year old son.
The consultation continued and I made a joke about how comfortable I was with medical procedures after all the rounds of IVF. She admitted that she was the same and confided that she had been through IVF to have her first son and she were trying again now for a sibling for her son. She made a point to say that she wasn't being greedy about having a second child and they were not trying too hard. I was not sure if this comment was for my benefit, considering I had just told her of my loss.
My doctor was very professional and she did not divulge the details of her experiences with IVF but I felt we had a silent understanding; without the words needing to be said. When I said the whole experience was an emotional roller coaster she nodded with a slight smile. She didn't need to agree out loud; her eyes divulged that she knew exactly what I meant and understood.
As I left the doctor's surgery I was reminded again how many women are walking a path similar to mine. In fact, you don't have to scratch the surface too deeply to uncover the difficulties others share with you. Again things have been confirmed for me that this is not a topic to be secretive about and hold close to my chest. There are so many people out there waiting for an opening to share how they feel; and hoping someone else understands even a little of what they are going through.
This is my gift! Sharing my story with others to shine a light on them so they no longer feel so alone. To wrap them with my blankets of understanding just by being able to listen to their story and not turn away in embarrassment.
Blessings and light,
Sunday, 4 September 2016
I thought of you today....
All of you out there, following my blog or yet to discover it. I thought of my past and how I have coped with everything life has thrown at me. Of all of you who may be struggling emotionally with infertility.
I reflected on how hard it can be to be an adult sometimes and how freeing it would be if we could drop all our shackles of adulthood and be childlike again.
I was at the mall today and wandered into a public restroom.
I was greeted by a little boy, all of about four years old, still innocent enough not to have let society shape him into anyone apart from his true authentic self.
This little boy reminded me of how free I would like to be, or how much I have struggled over the years to keep all of my emotions pent up inside me without expression.
As I turned the corner to walk into the restroom I was greeted by a huge ROAR as a little boy stood in front of the full-length mirror at the entrance to the female toilets. He was standing before the mirror making a face and screaming at his reflection. His mother was beside him looking concerned for my reaction. I couldn't help but smile back and laugh with joy.
While the mother paused anxiously for my reaction, the little boy was oblivious to even having an audience, nor did he care.
I wished in my times of pain and suffering I had have been as free and unrestricted as this little boy and could have screamed and yelled more than merely stuffing things down and trying to look like I was coping when I was really falling apart.
The challenge I put to you all is to let go of your screams of anguish instead of choking them down to remain steady and strong in your wildest storm.
I understand we don't all have the freedom to act childlike in our adult world without being judged or scheduled for psychiatric treatment. However, I do believe it would be so healing for the soul.
Imagine if, wherever you are right now when you read this, you could be free enough to cry, yell, scream, roar or laugh. If you are brave enough - just do it! Be your authentic self.
Would love to hear how you go with this challenge, all comments welcome.
Love and light,
Dear Readers, I have been so busy since my last post promoting and sharing my new book: The Baby Dream Learning to Live with Infertility and...
Have loved this song ever since I heard it. Yes, I have cried when I have listened to it at times but it is such an important message that ...
The Baby Dream: Learning to Live with Infertility and Loss is Narelle Hudson’s heartfelt account of her experiences with infertility and I...
Dear Readers, I haven't posted for a little while as I have had a lot going on personally. It has been over eight years now since my ...