Monday, 26 October 2015

You are not alone in this...

Excerpt from my book (Chapter 12)...
...The more I emotionally break down in public or mention the topic of IVF the more I realise how many woman are in fact going through exactly what I am going through or much worse. I spoke to a lady the other day and after I confessed I was doing IVF she said she was one of the first groups of women to ever do IVF. She had been told she was a guinea pig and that the doctors were still working it out. She went through the process eight times and was unsuccessful each time. Back then they did not freeze embryos so she went through the whole process of injections and operations eight times, to no avail. She helped pave the way for all of us and went through the pain of it not working many, many, times. When I think of her I feel silly to be so upset just because the first time was not successful. However, it is no less emotional for me right now, in this moment, even knowing that it was much harder for many other women.

I spoke to another lady this morning and she also never fell pregnant, despite the many varied positions tried in the bedroom and the ache in her heart to have her own children. She adopted two beautiful children and life went on. You see all this when you dig just a little under the surface. You realise you are definitely not alone. Many, many women have trod and continue to tread the same futile steps towards their supposed God given right to be a mother, everyday, and fail at the attempt for one reason or another...
I love the phrase that says something like: 'if we could see what the person before us had been through up until this point we would only treat them with kindness'. I urge you never to assume that you have it so bad that the person before you could not understand. You are not alone!
Blesssings and light,
Narelle Hudson

Monday, 19 October 2015

When IVF doesn't work the first time...

It takes so much courage to admit that you can't get pregnant naturally, without the help of doctors. It can be a long time of hoping and praying that this can't be your destiny and that you will get pregnant naturally if you just give it time.

Time runs out and the doctors will tell you your chances of success with IVF are greater before the age of 35. The biological clock keeps ticking and all of a sudden, even though you may start this journey at 27, as I did, all of a sudden you may be 30 and time does not wait. You may be older when you start and then time is even less of a friend to you.

Once we have admitted we need help and reached out for doctors to assist us we tell ourselves it will be a quick process and it will work on the first cycle. I think we have to tell ourselves this to make it easier to start in the first place. No one wants to prolong pain for themselves. If someone told me when I began that it may only work if I did five cycles I may have been less likely to jump in.

However, once you have jumped in and accepted your fate you want it to work so badly, maybe even more than before, to make up for all the things you are going through. So when the first cycle didn't work I told myself: 'that's ok, it will work next time'. I kept telling myself this as this was the message I needed to believe. The message had changed from: 'it will work the first time' to 'it will work next time'. Now I had already invested so much, there was no way I was going to back out without what I had come for, a baby.

The optimism fades as the cycles progress and although I still wanted to believe it would happen the next time, come cycle number five, I believe there were also parts of me that weren't certain anymore. Friends had also started the IVF journey with me and they had already given birth to healthy babies. I was desperate now but not 100% confident, as I once had been.

In fact when the pregnancy test came back positive, after the four pregnancy tests before it being negative, I hardly believed it myself. It took a long while to sink in.

Know when you begin this journey it can work, but it may not work the first time. The journey through five cycles can be a very bumpy one and it is best to be a little emotionally prepared for that. I wish I had of been that realistic in the beginning. Prepare yourself for the long haul and then be delighted if/when it happens sooner.

Many blessings,

until next time,

Narelle Hudson

Saturday, 10 October 2015

Webcam video from October 11, 2015 03:08 AM (UTC)

Interested to meet the author and put a face to a name. Now you can hear more about the book to come by hearing Narelle Hudson discuss her book proposal.

Tuesday, 6 October 2015

Don't forget to thank your partner

During the IVF process; as you are being poked, prodded, injected and investigated it is very easy to forget about your partner. Or worse still, to be resentful of him/her for only having to watch and not to be subjected to all the procedures your body has to endure.

Sometimes it seems like it is all up to you. At times, you feel like you are carrying the brunt of it all on your shoulders as the doctors and scientists treat you like a guinea pig. I have felt like this too. It is hard not to think it is all about you when you are the one going through the daily injections and blood tests, the pregnancy tests, the egg transfers, the operations, etc.

I take no credit away from myself and how hard it was on me, as it is hard, at times it is horrendous! Although, with the beauty of retrospect I have been able to see how hard it must have been for my partner to endure all that IVF brought with it too. He had to weather through the storms of emotional heartbreak as OUR dream of having a baby kept slipping away. He had to withstand my hormonal mood swings, injecting me with drugs, having to be the main bread winner to foot the costs of our expensive adventure, as well as the continuous emotional support he gave. I am sure there were many other struggles he faced, although he was strong for me and I don't remember him complaining often like I did. He was my rock!

My journey through all of this was long and hard and my husband and I actually became so much closer during the process. Although, I know many couples find the emotional/financial pressures too much on their relationship and don't make it through as a couple.

I hope you are lucky enough to move closer to your partner on your journey and not further away. For after all, if you don't get pregnant your partner is all you have. If you do get pregnant remember to appreciate all your partner is going through and to say "Thank you" from time to time. Although you may be caught up in the struggle of it all, know it is easier to get through IVF if you work with that person by your side. Don't forget the love you have for him/her in the pursuit of having a baby.

Until next time,

Narelle Hudson

Mothers Day as a childless woman.

Hi Readers, May has already been a very emotional month for me so far, for quite a few reasons. Sunday May 1st saw us honour those who have ...