January 2020 - Building

Dear Reader,

Wow! Only 15 days into 2020 and so much building has already taken place for an amazing year of change ahead.

Before Christmas I resigned from my job, after working for Relationships Australia for over 4 years.  This week I commenced my new job working for StandBy support after suicide in a bereavement counselling role.

This year my beautiful Son, River, would have been turning 10; if he hadn't grown his wings so soon. After 10 years of my grief journey all the puzzle pieces of the new person I have become, without being River's earthly mother, have fallen into place and I am ready to work in the grief field.

I feel thankful for my lived experiences that make me the perfect fit for this role and the post-traumatic growth I have gained to be able to give back to others. I would never have chosen this path without my son but can now see the growth that has come from my tragedy.

This month also sees the re-opening of my counselling and natural therapy business in We…

The Balance of Grief

Dear Readers,

There is a difficult balance that comes with grief.

In the early years when grief was new and raw I found myself having to fight for my right to grieve with some aquaintences, friends and family. Those who didn't give their blessings for me to 'not be over it yet'.

Now it has been over 9 years, I feel like it is me who has to be mindful of my grief not having a negative impact on my life. Even though my grief no longer impacts consistent and regular moments in my days it is always there. Every mother who has lost a child is aware of this!

However, I feel like there needs to be a time frame for when you can no longer allow this grief to hold you back from living happily or from creating, thinking or feeling things the way you deserve.

You need to release yourself from the fear of letting go more fragments of the grief that impede on you moving forward and living your life to the full.

This letting go and releasing is not the same as forgetting about your child…

Your survival guide

Dear Readers,

I recently saw this message when I was scrolling through my feed on social media. I liked it and shared it and then forgot about it. At least I thought I did...

It's little message kept repeating in my head; urging me to explore it further.

This is the soul reason I wrote my book. I believe none of our battles in life are in vain if they help us or others to grow in ways we never could have without these experiences.

I hope my story: 'Holding the Baby Dream' demonstrates to you how strong and resilient you are and how much hope there is for you to get through your battles with infertility and infant loss also. I hope it acts as a survival guide for you as the writing of it did for me.

Love and blessings,

Narelle Hudson

Experiencing Baby and Infant Loss

Dear Readers,

I saw this on social media this week with thousands of responses beneath it. Just another reminder that so many of us are experiencing loss. 
It is sad so many of us go through this but inspiring that we are sharing and talking about things. This way we don't feel so alone in our pain.

Please share in the comments if you feel guided to.
How far along were you?💗💙

I will start it off with: 💚 23 weeks 3 days 💔
Blessings and light,
Narelle Hudson x

Pressures from Society Over Gender of Children

Hi Readers,

I have caught a few conversations lately in the media, in regards to celebrities in particular, but I am aware regular people also experience the same pressure society gives around children.

We all know it starts with: 'Why are you still single?'; Have you found anyone special yet?'; 'Don't worry s/he is out there and will appear when you least expect it'.

It continues with: 'You have been together for a long time, when are you getting married?' 'Do you think s/he will propose soon?'

Then escalates to: 'When are you two having children?' 'Are you planning a family soon?' 'Do you have children?' 'The clock is ticking.. you are not getting any younger you know'. Once you are of a certain age, the confusion and strange looks are common if you do not agree or can't produce the babies everyone expects. Why does everyone assume it is always as simple as: 'we want children = let's have children?&#…

Taking Back Control

Dear Readers,

Something is shifting yet again. I can feel it. It has been a week of feeling stuck, restless, lost, exhausted and disconnected.

The confusing part is that it has also been a week of feeling inspired, powerful, independent and connected.

There has been a symphony of emotions. The ups and downs I remember from past times when life seemed unsteady and I just wasn't sure what was around the next corner.

The last time I felt big waves of these feelings, that are appearing in only glimpses now, I felt like the only way to get control back was to shave my head.

In a time where there were so many areas that I had no control over I took back my power in the only area I had complete control over.

Of course this was a very different time. This was during 5 rounds of IVF. This was when I was trying to fall pregnant and was being poked and prodded. When I felt like everything was against me; not only holding onto this dream of being a mother but more importantly in achieving it.

Thank you!

Dear Readers,

I found this passage in my gratitude journal I am writing in every day this year. It is a perfect 'Thank you' letter to give gratitude for my beautiful soul connection that I was lucky enough to have with my son, River, all be it for a shorter time than I dreamed.

I believe it is a universal message for all those we were fortunate enough to love before we lost them.

Blessings and love, Narelle Hudson  xx